Holiday drama

[perrinoia]

My family seems to be incapable of bringing a plan to fruition. Mostly because the women of my family are a bunch of vindictive cunts, whose only joy in life is preventing each other from getting what they want...

The original plan was to celebrate Christmas at my Aunt and Uncle's condo complex, because they have a handicapped accessible meeting room with a fireplace and a full kitchen, that can accommodate everyone... We all thought we would bring our presents over there, on Christmas Eve, and then bring our families the next day, in time for brunch, then open presents, then have Christmas dinner as a big huge extended family, and then go home, with our presents...

Then my Aunt sent a Facebook invite, which basically said to show up at 2 PM, and described the menu of a million appetizers, before a dinner with enough options to satisfy everyone, even though they'd be too full of appetizers to eat dinner.

This meant we all had to fend for ourselves for breakfast and lunch, and gave all of the chronically late women in my family an excuse to be late, as they all wanted to skip appetizers and dig right into dinner. Also, my sister in-law decided not to go, because there was no point if they weren't going to do the gift exchange in the morning, there. With her family of 5 dropping out of the dinner plan, my Aunt decided there wasn't enough people to warrant reserving the handicapped accessible room, and changed the venue to her condo, which means my deaf, blind, and crippled grandparents had to climb a flight of stairs, which they haven't done since they sold their house and moved into a retirement center over a decade ago.

Also, on Christmas Eve, around 4 o'clock, she started asking each of us to bring certain things, as if dinner would be potluck. Every store closes at 6, and we were all sitting down at a Chinese restaurant for dinner, before planning to attend the Christmas Eve service at church. Luckily, some of us already had what we needed, and we finished dinner 45 minutes before church started, so we had a little bit of time to get the rest.

My sister in-law suggested half of the family come to her house for breakfast and to exchange presents, around 8:30-9:00 AM. She's a good cook, and has the biggest house with the most kids (all of the kids, actually), so it made sense.

However, the reason we were invited to my Aunt's, was to alleviate my sister in-law's stress... So, my mother decided that she would cook breakfast for everyone, so my sister in-law wouldn't have to.

After the evening Christmas Eve service at church, my sister calls my mother to bitch about the breakfast menu.
My mother was planning to bake a French toast casserole, which everyone but my sister considers somewhat edible.
She pissed off my mom, who decided not to cook breakfast at all.

On Christmas morning, my sister decides to cook a quiche casserole, which, much like the French toast casserole, contains ingredients that 2 people are allergic to, cooked in a manor that 2 more people won't like...

My sister and I roll up around 10:30 with brunch for people who have already made themselves breakfast at 8:30 when they found out my mom wasn't bringing breakfast.

She made me do 99% of the work, loading all of the presents and food into the car, as well as bringing all of the stuff into my sister in-law's house because she was dizzy (an excuse she uses frequently to get out of manual labor).

While I'm making my third or fourth trip from the car, I walk in to my sister, who is berating an 8 year old niece for reading a book. The book was from a series that my sister has been reading to our nieces out loud, for years. My sister was upset that it was "their thing" and that theone niece was reading ahead. However, she's old enough to read by herself, and the other niece never pays attention, anyway.

Then she makes a big fucking deal about how she made breakfast for everyone, and no one wants it.

Then she makes a big fucking deal about how she must eat before opening gifts, because unlike everyone else, she hasn't eaten yet.

Then she makes a big fucking deal over the fact that my brother gave his wife the same gift that I bought her (a hot and cold water dispenser), before my sister in-law has a chance to open mine.

Someone asked who was bringing my grandparents, and my dad bolted to the door. He hates drama, yet he married a woman who can't get along with her two sisters.

My brother and I spent the entire time my father was gone attempting to put out all of the flames our sister started, and manage to get the house relatively peaceful before our grandparents arrive.

We open the remaining presents, and finish around 1:00, which is great, because it'll take approximately 15 minutes to go back home to get what we need to bring to my Aunt's condo, at 2. However, my sister decides to point out that the water bubbler I bought was superior to the water bubbler my brother bought, and is also exactly the one my sister in-law asked for, which means I'm a better listener than my brother, aka my sister in-law's husband. Somehow this turns into an argument over which one she should return, and what she should buy herself with the proceeds, and my sister refuses to help load the car again, so we don't end up leaving my sister in-law's house till after 2.

My sister and I were car pooling, because we live together, and my car broke down on Christmas Eve, and this bitch, who made us late because she wanted to skip appetizers, decides that we're TOO late to go back to our apartment and bring our share of the potluck, or my presents for my aunts and uncles, who weren't at breakfast. I was irate, but I wasn't driving, so there was nothing I could do but get mad.

My chronically late mom, who left my sister in-law's house about an hour before us, didn't arrive to my Aunt's condo until about 5:30, and had to leave at 6, because she works the night shift, and had a 2.5 hour drive to get there in time for work at 7 PM... If your head hurts just reading this, imagine how I feel, after dealing with her my whole life.

So, to accommodate my mom's hectic schedule, we were all forced to to rush through dinner. After dinner, my sister decides to take a fucking nap, while instructing me to load up leftovers and shit in the car... I packed everything she asked for... I helped my grandparents get down the stairs and loaded into my dad's car... And then I attempted to get my sister to get her fat lazy ass off of the couch so we could go home, but I hadn't loaded the leftovers in the car, and she didn't want to carry anything, so even though I was fully planning to carry it myself, she wouldn't get up until the leftovers were in the fucking car!

Finally, we get home, and this bitch tries to pull one more fast one... She tries to convince me that I'm too tired from doing all that work, all day, to bring in my presents, and I should just leave them in her car. And I almost did, but she fucked up by making me bring in the left overs and put them in the fridge, and then asked me to cover her lifeguarding shift at the YMCA in the morning... (we both lifeguard at the YMCA as a side job, not because they pay well, but because we get to use the facilities without paying for a membership). Then she suddenly remembers something and changed her mind about me covering her shift, and that's when I realized she was scheming...

It took me a few minutes to figure out what her scheme was, but then I remembered... Earlier in the afternoon, she was complaining that my stocking had a bunch of candy in it, and hers didn't. She even attempted to get our four year old niece to steal my candy and bring it to her...

Her plan was to steal my candy in the morning. So after she went to bed, I went out to her car and brought all of my candy into my room and hid it.

TL;DR: My sister in-law prefers to spend the holidays with her family instead of ours, and I can't blame her.

[DaRk]

The Curious Case of Perrinoia.

Women are controlling, who knew?

[SGT ROCK]

Let it out Perrin.
This is a safe space.

LOL hehehheh

[SGT ROCK]

They don't call you "Eddie" do they? Ah the holidays... sounds almost typical Perr.



Happy Holidays man, hope your New Year's celebration makes up for it.

[Ninetails]

Damn, and i thought it was only my family who pulled shit like this.

[perrinoia]

My twin brother has Holidays figured out...

For the past 2 years, he's claimed that he can't afford to visit the rest of the family on the holidays. He makes that his facebook status and publically requests invites to local friend's family get together... He gets multiple offers, and chooses at least one, sometimes multiple if the schedules align themselves. So he gets to spend the Holidays with a family... He gives them a thank you gift and expects nothing from them but food and company. He still gets a bunch of gifts from his family in the mail...

He says he's not sure if the families he spends the holidays with are on their best behavior because they have a guest, or if that's how they always act regardless of his presence, but it's always way better than spending time with our own family. Worst case scenario: The family that takes him in is full of drama, but instead of getting pissed off by it, he gets to sick back and enjoy the show...

[vistalize]

wooosah baby woosah we're here for you brother!

[al4nkaii]

Head hurts after reading all that. Go become a priest in the remotest place you can ever find. Problem solved.

[perrinoia]

Head hurts after reading all that. Go become a priest in the remotest place you can ever find. Problem solved.

But I like women... Specifically the adult, female variety...

[DaJ4ck3L]

LOL, who would of though, perr just overloaded with women.